Here’s the Proof

Introduction

Cabbage Patch Kids

Some survivors of life-threatening adversity are frustrated or even depressed because they can’t find their way back to the “old normal.” I believe trying to regain the old normal is a waste of time. If you learn how to accept it and thrive in it, the “new normal” can be more rewarding than the old normal.

Call to Action
If you have any advice that might help people accept and thrive in their new normal, please leave your advice in the comment section below this post.

Credits

Thanks to  Cabbage Patch Kids for providing the picture I used in this post; and all the people who, directly or indirectly, made it possible for me to use the picture, video, and text I used in this post.

6 Comments

  1. This article really strikes home for me. I wasted a lot of time in denial. All of my new friends do not care about what I use to be able to do. They only care about what I can do now and what the future might hold.

    1. Chuck, many people with whom I have spoken mentioned the same problem to me. It appears to be a common problem. Doctors, family members, and friends like to believe we are damaged goods and will never get better. Thankfully, our new friends tend to be much more understanding and forgiving as we recovery and reinvent ourselves so we are able to succeed in the “new” world. Thanks for sharing your comment.

  2. As said by Esther, “The past has passed” or in other words perhaps not as delicately put as Esther, but intending the same meaning: “That was THEN; this is now, so get on with it!”

    Yes, the Resuources available are often many; however, reception and willingness to learn of “other” ways of help is often blocked by personality, perceptions and passivity . . . and herein lies the dilemma.

    That very same “personality” (willingness to continue to “push forward”) is that which can also hinder the acceptance of the new self; at least, that is the thought I am developing.

    After recently utilizing the “problm solving” and “decision making” suggestions & alternatives Esther referred to, it was my own” personality” – and only after years of defeat – that acually accepted these new ways.
    May i offer and suggest to those struggling with the humility of apparent defeat-by-old-ways, to seek-out and participate -in Brain Injury studies & Research. You quickly realize there is a certain “attractiveness” of your new brain – to Researchers & Developers of study – and you may be able to attain a certain pride-in-self at being chosen to accept these “new ways”! (I refer specifically to my recent participation in Bain Injury Research (University of Toronto; BAYCREST hospital).

    1. Barbara,

      I believe your theory about the connection between success and change is plausible — the mindset that makes some people successful is the same mindset that resists change and the new self (aka new normal). However, it is also important to recognize there are some people who are successful because they embrace change. ~ Scott

  3. I’ve been there and done that. It’s important to know who you are now – including your strengths and weaknesses. Mourning loss is okay, but the past has passed; we cannot go back in time. Many of us need help to push forward. If we are willing to move forward, we may be able to improve and grow; even if it is by only one minute per hour or one day per month. There are many resources to help us. Counseling and therapy can teach us to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Cognitive retraining programs help us with problem solving, organization, and decision making. Adaptive physical education enables us to prepare for, and participate in, activities that would otherwise be unobtainable.

    Bottom line – getting help, helps. Learning new ways to think and accomplish tasks helps us achieve happiness and successes. The journey is not an overnight process, so patience is critical. It will take time as well as require a flexible open mind, consistent effort, and undivided attention. This may all sound like an uphill climb. However, it’s true what “they” say . . . the view at the top is worth seeing and it is awesome!

    Thank You Scott for the opportunity to encourage and be encouraged
    Esther

    1. Esther,

      You mentioned a few points that I think are worth emphasizing:
      1. “The past has passed.” If there is nothing we can do to change the past, there is no point worrying about it or allowing it to justify our future.

      2. “Many of us need help.” Sometimes, we are our own worst enemies. The way we think or act may prevent people from sharing the truth with us. Sometimes, we don’t believe the truth we hear. It is nice to get a friendly “push” to encourage us to embark or continue on the journey.

      3. “Getting help helps.” We may not be able to help ourselves.

      4. Recovery is not “an overnight process.” At some point during the journey, each of us has most likely wished for a quick fix to enable recovery overnight. Looking back, if I had the opportunity for a quick fix or to avoid the condition, I would pick neither. I learned a lot during the journey, and today is only a short delay, my journey continues.

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