Many people find answers by searching their soul, I do not. Some people think about granting and asking forgiveness, I do not. I am certain there are many circumstances for which I should grant and ask forgiveness, but I do not think about those circumstances. When I began writing this reflection, I was forced to confront my previously unanswered questions. Why don’t I search my soul? Why don’t I think about forgiveness? Writing my thoughts helped me realize that I am not afraid of what I will find if I were to reflect, but what I will not find when I try to remember.
My actions, or in this case lack of actions, are not based on religious, spiritual, cultural, political, or familial beliefs. The fact is that cancer, surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation have hidden many of my memories in a part of the brain where I cannot find them. I’m sure the memories are up there, but I simply cannot find them. I don’t remember what it is I did wrong, what I could have done differently, or what I need to forgive. I obviously have some memories or I would not be able to write this, but the memories I need for the soul searching and forgiveness seem to have disappeared for now.
Please understand that I consider cancer and my lack of memory to be a gift. Rather than knowing I have a past for which I must repent, I now have an opportunity to create a future for which repentance is less necessary.
Let us all make the life ahead one of health, healing, happiness, listening, understanding, sharing, optimism, and great memories.
- If your memory is not great, how do you compensate for a poor memory?
- If your memory is fantastic, how do you use your memory to help others?
- How do reflections benefit you?
- What are some of the ways in which people can reflect?
Thanks to Tracy and Sue for sharing the value of reflections with me, Jack C. Crawford and Charles Apple for encouraging me to share more of my personal experiences, Juliette for inviting me to share my reflection, Bing, and all the people who made it possible for me to include the picture I used in this post.